coffeehouse poem

As preface to my poem, titled “Shootout At the Latte Corral”, I want to read you an item that was recently in the news.

"Starbucks has become a battleground in a fight over whether gun owners should be allowed to openly wear unloaded handguns in public. The "Open Carry" movement advocates carrying weapons on holsters in plain sight. Starbucks says it would not ban licensed guns from its stores."

Shootout at the Latte Corral

Cyrus, he felt killin’ mad
When Joe cut him off that day.
You see, Cyrus meant to make a left.
Joe’s car got in his way.

Joe zipped in the parking lot
‘Fore Cyrus could react,
But Cyrus is a mean hombre.
He plans to get Joe back.

He’s long and lean and lanky, as
He climbs out of his truck.
There are gun racks in his window, and
Joe, plaintive, moans, “This sucks!”

On Cyrus’s hip a holster sits,
And in it rests a gun.
His hairy hand is hovering close,
And Joe’s completely stunned.

Like a mangy bovine ox
Cyrus lumbers to Joe’s door.
“Look, you jerk…,” then Cyrus says.
Joe doesn’t wait for more.

“Do not hurt me!” Joe cries out.
“Take this twenty! Take my keys!
Here are all my credit cards.
Won’t you take them? Won’t you please?”

Says Cyrus, “Lilly livered snake.
You’d best get out of town.
‘Cause I’m a mean gun slinger, and
I plan to shoot you down.

My pistol has four notches, and
I’d like to make it five.
My quick draw in a gun fight
Leaves very few alive.”

“This is silly,” Joe then says.
“We can’t count three and draw.
To carry guns is dangerous
And it is against the law!”

“Not in Virginia,’ Cyrus sneers,
“In Starbucks you’re well groomed
When you wear your legal firearm
Inside their dining room.

At High Noon I will meet you
At the Starbucks in the mall,”
Said Cyrus, as he strode away
His back bone straight and tall.

The hours passed quite quickly.
High noon soon rolled around.
Cyrus ordered lattee,
But Joe could not be found.

“Slimey polecat weasel”
Said Cyrus with a grin.
“Guess I’ll polish up my weapons
And I’ll see who else comes in.”

So, friends, it seems it might be wise
To drink your brew at home,
Or make yourself a coffee shop,
Like yours, that’s all your own!