Rhyme in Time

Lloyd says that my name does not rhyme.
If it rhymed he'd write poems all the time.
So to help him along
I’ve written a song
Now, Lloyd, you can write poems sublime

To the tune of “You Can Call Me Al” by Paul Simon

A gal rolls down the street
She says why am I short of attention now
Why am I short of attention
When life’s insurmountably tall?
I need a future opportunity.
I want a shot at redemption.
I don’t want to end up my life here
In this breathing graveyard.
Poem writer. Poem writer.
Rhyming in Richmond,
Away from my welcom’ng door.

Yes, my dear buddy, dear buddy,
Get these blues away from me.
You know I don’t find this dump anusin’ anymore.

You can write a poem for me
‘Cause you are my long time pal.
If you don’t like “Debbie”,
Lloyd, dear, when you write of me just call me Al.



See, Lloyd, what you have to do is take words that rhyme, or sort of rhyme, and just write in a self-assured manner with a definite rhythm so that, even if your sentences don't necessarily hang together to make any real sense, the reader assumes that they do and buys into it. But basically, what you do is just keep messing with it until it ‘sounds right’. Lloyd, however, is a pharmacist, which means that he has a scientific mind, , so he doesn't understand this kind of fuzzy poetic thinking.

Did you know the Professor has his own webpage? Wonder if he created it on a computer made out of a coconut??

OMG - Lloyd is RIGHT. I went to Rhyme Zone so that I could write the promised song about how stuff rhymes with Deb, and I found that not much rhymes with "Deb" but "web". And I ain't got NOTHIN' in common with a spider!
I'll write a poem about that, so that this blog post isn't quite as useless as it seems.

A spider weaves webs to catch flies.
But I need a web to catch guys!

I think this has denigrated past the point of no return. How many poeple out there think I might be better off if I found something to do with my life?