Risque Christmas card (but funny)

Back 20 years ago, AIDS was a death sentence, not a managable disease. SIDEBAR: THEY HAD A STORY IN THE POST TODAY ABOUT HOW KIDS ARE NOW ASSUMING ITS 'NO BIG DEAL' AND BEING CARELESS, AND THAT IS INCREDIBLY SCARY! Back then, Whitman Walker had a program where volunteers could buddy up with individuals who had full-blown AIDS and help provide whatever they needed until the patient died. Actually, probably they might still do this. Here is a link to their volunteer opportunties. Anyway, I did this (remember, this was 20 years ago, and I wasnt sick yet!). My buddy was Bob Edwards, an outrageously funny queen in his early 50's. He had lots of resources and really didn't need much of anything but another friend. He did have 2 ancient, decrepit dogs, though. One of them was named Snuffy, though I have no idea why I remember that. Well, one day he went away and left it to me to walk the ancient, decrepit weenie dogs.
So I took them out the loading dock door, and was merrily dragging them down the street ('cause they were so old they could barely walk), when suddenly a fat man waddles up to me, drops his trench coat, and is naked. He chases me back to Bob's place, me dragging the startled dogs and him shouting lewd remarks. This was my Christmas card entry about the event.

TO: Jingle Bells

Dashing toward the door
While the doggies lag and play.
O'er the field I run,
Freaked out all the way.

Obscene cat-calls ring,
Giving me a fright.
Why did that fat naked man
Take his coat off in my sight?

Oh-h-h-h-h
Dangling balls, Dangling balls,
Dangling all the way.
Why did that damned fat man have
To pick on me today-aye?
Dangling balls, Dangling balls,
Dangling all the way.
Why did that damned fat man have
To pick on me today?