let me free

The room at Emetritis is slightly smaller,but I think it will suffice - as do Sue and Ron, who saw it yesterday. They give showers right in the rooms own bathroom, which is something I bet they could do here, if they showed any initiative or imagination.

As Mom says Pappaw used to say, "Show a little innerest!"

I gave notice here today. cool!
















a

I seriously think I'm moving. As a matter of fact, I've decided to move by 3/1. I'm totally fed up with this place. They apparently have no intention of making the front door ADA accessibe. When I asked about again today, the coniergee told me that they like the door impassible hecauset it keeps the alizheimers population in. Excuse me, but there are accessible legal ways to do that

SNOW

I hate and loathe and detest snow! I told that to the Metro Access driver yesterday, and he said, "Yeah. You need chains and snow tires on that thing!" (meaning my wheelchair.) It a doozy of a storm yesterday. I called Sue this morning, and it took her from 5PM until midnight to get home! Where she works is less than 10 miles from her home! Then she slept in for a couple hours, but had to be up and struggling back to work today by 10AM. The Federal Government was 2 hours late, but open. I called her this morning, and she told me that poor Ron had called her real late and that they'd plowed the parking lot where he works and plowed his car in!! So I, being the always concerned (but totally uselesess!) friend, called him immediately to see if he was OK. I woke him up of course. I seem to have a history of this. Do you think its just that I'm lacking in common sense?


Speaking of not having any sense, I signed up for a Spanish I part III adult education class with Arlington County, having never taken parts I or II. I figured my Spanish Blackbelt courses would suffice. WRONG!! I'm going to try to catch up, but what, pray tell, is a 'preterit tense'? And why the hell would one care to use it? I live in the present, I remember the past, I wait for the future, but never have I been in the preterit, nor, I hope, will I ever be. 'Preterit' sounds like the debris left by an exploding star!

Kenny

Uncle Kenny's funeral was yesterday. Aunt Delores sent a report about it, and it sounds like the family all gathered just like they always have, all through the years. She also says, "To top it off, when Gene and I left Kennesaw this morning, I looked to the Kennesaw mountains, across the highway from Kenny's final resting place, and there was a rainbow...what can I say...It was beautiful to know that Kenny is truly at rest and we will miss him very, very much. He was special and I loved him."

I don't know - something magic like that should also remind us that, after a hard life, Kenny's now in glory with Mammaw and Pappaw, and, though we miss them, that we WILL see them all again.

Delores also says, "Kim read a poem that Eddie wrote for Kenny in 1973. It was called "One Brother Short" and was about going to the farm at Thanksgiving to shoot the guns but Kenny didn't make it home that year for Thanksgiving. It ia a beautiful poem and I hope we all get a copy of it." Isn't it odd that writing poems seems to run in the family? I remember many years of many different Morris poems being read on many different occasions. I bet Eddie's was a real nice one. If I get a copy, I'll post it here.

Mi familia

My Uncle Kenny passed away Monday. I never had occasion to get to know him very well, and I almost never saw him, but yet I really miss him. He was a part of my family, and I loved him, and now he is gone. I remember him being sweet to me when I was a kid.

Mom had 8 brothers and sisters. Mom is the oldest, then Luther, Wilma, Raymond, Deloris, Kenny, Patricia, Brenda, and Eddie. Mom says that when she came home for Christmas after her first semester at college, she was furious to find that Mamaw hadn't done any shopping for presents for the little ones, and she hadn't decorated the house. Mom did it herself, cursing all the while because her Mom hadn't done it. On Jan. 2nd, Papaw woke Mom up in the morning by saying, "Come look what your Mommy has done", and Mom went in to find Mamaw in bed with a new baby, my uncle Eddie. Nobody, Mom included, had any idea Mamaw was pregnant. Mom felt totally rotten for having been angry.

Growing up, I usually only saw the extended family every Thanksgiving, Although I sometimes saw family members at various times throughout the year, it was very rare to get the chance to be with Kenny. My main memory of visiting him was when his now grown kids were tots and he lived with his family in a little house on my Papaw's farm.

I know it would be very important to Mom if she were able to get to the funeral, but I know that can't happen. Ain't it wonderful to deal with age and disability?

So! Changing the subject....

...I had Spanish class in Clarendon last night. Which is, I guess, the whole point of Spanish class - to change the subject of my life away from disability and living among the aged.

It was fun, I really need to actually study. Otherwise, it is kind of pointless, isn't it?

I have a unique opportunity here because I have native Spanish speakers here to practice with. I managed to tell one woman this morning that "Mi dormitorio no es limpa," which, I think, means "My room isn't clean." Upon hearing this, however, she seemed quite jolly, so lord knows what I said. With a word like "limpa", I'm kinda scared to find out!

golden globes

Did everyone watch the "Golden Globes" last night? I thought I'd seen a lot of movies, but I saw NONE of the ones that won big awards. I'd seen a lot of the nominees, but they didn't end up winning. For example, "Alice in Wonderland, The Tourist (Does anyone notice a distinctive "Johnny Depp" leaning to my interests?)

There are many, many movies that the show inspitrd me to see. So. in my typical schizophrenic manner, I'm going tomorrow to see a movie that is none of them. It's "The Green Hornet". I've heard it is good, though.

philosphy

MS is large coffee stain on the shirt of life. But more than that… It is also a tear in the armpit….

…And the hem is out! Lets don’t forget that the hem is out.

But don’t throw out the shirt! OK? It can be nominally attractive under a jacket… if the jacket is big enough to hide the coffee stain.

Or you can give it to the poor… if they’ll take it. I think the poor might be getting pickier.

This entry ends with royalty

I went to Mom's and Dad's house today. They are in a retirement community, but it seems so much more like a real apartment in a real home than this nasty room of mine does. Granted, they are in independent living rather than assisted living, but still.... Residents are treated as thinking individuals worthy of dignity and respect! It would be heaven were anyone here were to converse with me rather than just tell me stuff. The staff seems much more professional...

Maybe its different in assisted living there, but in independent living, when a resident says something to a staff member, the staff member actually listens and reacts in some fashion. Or at least pretends to understand and care. That isn't true here. For example, I changed clothes, with help, when I got back. Then I asked to be put back in my wheelchair, because I wanted to work on the computer. The caretakers didn't listen. They use this big Hoyer lift to move me around and were putting me into my easy chair where I read and watch TV. I said, "No! I told you that I want to go to the wheelchair!", to which the caretaker responded, "But that's not the chair I cleaned off!" As you can see by the fact that I'm managing to write this blog entry, I can be quite persuasive.

One just gets tired of being in an adversaial situation ALL THE TIME!

I had a good time with Mom and Dad. Mom and I played Scrabble. Sue ansd I bought her a groovy new Scrabble set for Christmas which has little ridges along all the lines on the board, forming boxes to put the letters in as one plays so that a simple joggle of the board doesn't ruin the game in progress. (Sorry, Ed!)

We also gave Mom a little figuine of Queen Elizabeth. It is solar activated and waves *hello* in a royal manner. Mom now has it in a window and SHE LOVES IT! She waves back! Mom has always felt a great kinship with Queen Elizabeth, you know. In fact, at times I believe she thinks she is Queen Elizabeth.

If at first......

I screwed up big time. Those of my friends who think I would never admit to such a thing should engrave this date deeply and clearly into their memories - January 14,2011, DEBBIE TAYLOR ADMITS SCREWING UP! I had an appointment today to go see The Jefferson - a Sunrise home on Taylor Street in Ballston.

I think I would love to live in Ballston!

The place is om Taylor Street. So how hard do you think that ought to be for Debbie Taylor to remember that? I should have arranged the metro trip no problem.

BUT NO-O-O! I screwed up and arranged for the bus to take me back to the place I went yesterday. When we got there and I recognized what I had done, I begged with the driver pitifully enough that the driver brought me back home, but I was lucky that he was kind. By rights, he should have just left me there for 2 hours until the next driver came to pick me up,

I called the Jefferson and left a message asking for another chance. They are the only place I've ever called that is full and has a waiting list, so lets see what develops.

Meanwhile, when I returned I was bummed out enough that I went down to Clare and Don's Beach Shack, which is only a block away, and had a burger, seafood chowder, and 2 big 16 oz. lager beers on tap.

So, I guess if plans go no place, then just go someplace unplanned?

Why do you need a coat?

I went yesterday to go tour a different Sunrise - I very much want out of this one. This place had a broken bathtub for an entire week through Christmas and, rather than paying what it would take to have it repaired, they waited for about a week and I force to go through Christmas dirty.

This place I toured wouldn't have had the same problem. They are apparently large enough that they have several tubs. BUT - they have the same "Assisted living people have no real life and certainly no future" attitude as this place does. For instance, they have no closets in the rooms. When I ask where people put their stuff, I'm told, "The families just bring it back and forth as needed." ARGGGG!!

History smistory

Whoops - my bad! Every word of my last post is true, but appariently I put too much signifigance on the fact that Granny had included Sadie's name in the "list of relatives". I went to Dad yesterday with a listing of the people I couldn't place. Some of them he would say something like, "Oh, that's Aunt Nan's husband's cousin", so I would decide I didn't care about him, and would mark him off the list.

But then Dad started saying things like, "Fred Dorcas? Oh, he was the neighbor man." Which at first inspired salicious fantasies, since Granny included him on the list of fasmily members. But then I'd ask about Peg Dorcas, and Dad would say, "Fred's wife. I think they were in Mom's Sunday School class." So apparently Granny just wrote the names of anyone she had a nodding aquaintance with in her list of family members.

It's entirely posible that I might just give up on this. I don't really care about my family background. I think Dad might, but maybe he'd like stories about the place the family immigrated from or what they did in the war - there was some of that stuff in the documents, and it seems more fun than just a list of names. I even have some Civil War info.

Dialogue overheard at dinner:

OLD LADY: (to unrelated old man sitting across from her) I think my son'n may come tonight.

OLD MAN: What about tonight?

OLD LADY: Is my son coming?

OLD MAN: No, your socks didn't fall down.


I shouldn't make fun, but I hate that obnoxious old man.

Heartbreaking family history

Dad's 82nd birthday happened the other day, He says he wants no gifts, so, instead, I've been working on the family history which I promised to do years ado. Because of this, I have been reminded of a really tragically homophobic incident in my family history.

My granny's sister, Laura, was apparently a lesbian, I infer this because she never married, and she had a devoted female companion all her life. The companion's name was Sadie. Apparently they had lots of fun times together all through the years that Dad was growing up. There are, or were, many photos of Laura and Sadie wearing men's suits and engaging in comical activities.

At this point I sort of lose track of what happened. I'm going to try to find out when I go "home" tomorrow afternoon. What I do know is that Granny moved in with us, and then off to live with Aunt Judy.

Then, years later, she moved in with Aunt Laura, and Sadie was suddenly was no longer part of the picture. I seem to remember stories of Sadie being sent away to some kind of aged paupers' home.

I won't indulge in a lot of the commentary I'm tempted to make at this point, because it would be nothing but hurtful speculation.

I do know for a fact, though, that Granny went through Laura's house after moving in and cut Sadie's face out of every single photo of Sadie with Laura.

The odd thing is that I have a "family history" list that Granny put together when she was wotking on the family history. On it she lists each family member. She has Sadie listed.

Away we go

I just read an article on Yahoo news about younger people living in nursing homes. It seems such most people find that such a situation sucks, as do I, and that a lot of people have it a lot worse than I have it. I guess I really have a lot of stuff going for me: * I'm healthy enough to get around * Metro Access will take me * I live in an area that's vibrant enough that there is always somewhere to go * I have a wonderful family * I have a computer, so if I'm lonely, I can talk to my blog * I bought the maximum allowable amount of long term care insurance before I lost my job. I think it's enough to last for 10 years, so can y'all get on the stick and help me find someone rich to marry before then?

Yesterday was actually a busy day. I did my volunteer work at church in the AM, which was just the same old same old. In the afternoon I went to Clarendon to Spanish, and that was fun. I hadn't studied nearly enough last week, so I'm inspired to do better. REALLY! It was sad how much I didn't know. But, I noticed on the way in to Clarendon that Hard Times Cafe is just a couple blocks away. so I went there and ate wonderful "Cincinnati chili" with cheese and sour cream and onions and cornbread and drank a great big Sam Adams on tap and watched activities at the metro station across the street before class started.

The problem is that not everyone can do things like that, When I got back here, my stomache just fell, I have no idea how I'd stay sane if I actually had to stay here all the time. I think that society really needs to invest in deveoping assisted living facilities which do more to help people live, and aren't just geared toward giving them a place to wait to die.

Last one - promise

Sue and I once rapped for our telephone answering machine message. The message was.

Sorry we can't come to the phone.
Just leave your message at the tone.
We'll call you back when we get in
Just as fast as we possbibly ken,
That's rap! rap! rap!
TELEPHONE RAP!

We had lots of hang-ups! I know neither David nor Dad would leave a message just on principle. Bob once left a message, saying, "telephone rap!! That's telephone crap!"

this is indeed a long card

This next poem was written to tease David, who did not feel at all that ours was the best bell choir in the land. The "MJ" mentioned was the Dulin clergyman at the time who once, when Lloyd was visiting me, came up quite politically and introduced himself to us, shaking our hands vigorously. I said, "I GO to this church." Actually, HECK, I used to live in the parsonage! "This is my friend, Lloyd." Once again he shook out hands vigorously, "GOOD," to Lloyd. "And next week you bring a friend, and the next week they bring a friend! And Lloyd and I are thinking, "Hey, man - we're just here with the band!"
TO: Walking in a Winter Wonderland

Handbells ring are you listnin'?
In the pews, eyes are glistenin',
A beautiful sound that echos around
'Cause we're the best bell choir in the land.

In the hallway we may meet a preacher.
A skinny dude who goes by MJ Kim.
He'll say, "Are you members?", we'll say, "Gee, sir
We are but it is sure no thanks to him!"

Later on we'll conspire
'omngst our tiny bell choir
To find a good time when bells we can shine.
We're the best bell choir in the land!

Even more Chrstmas carrd

Before I start, let me mention that I just saw a woman on TV who says that the world will end on May 21st. My birthday is May 24th. If you are planning on sending a card or anything, you might want to get it in the mail early... Just thought you'd want to know!

TO: O Little Town of Bethlehem
(NOTE: The Falls Church Police department used to drive Volvos. Really!)

O little town of Falls Church
How sleepily you lie.
In your small streets the Volvo cops
Keep out a watchful eye.
You like to think you're crimeless,
But on this very night
Around our 7-11 store
You will see quite a fright.

The bums who hang out there at Mings
Have started to push and shove.
A woman with a bloated face
Begs coins for a child she loves.
The hooker's inside flirting
With every man on earth.
And watch out for the cashier, he'll
Take you for what you're worth.

How silently, how silently
The bag of dope is giv'n
Across the ice cream freezer here
At our dear 7-11.
One wonders what will happen
In this small world of sin.
No telling 'cause the Volvo cops
Do not dare venture in.


TO: Come Thou Long Expected Jesus

Come, thou long expected pizza.
We called for you at quarter 'til three.
We've been waiting for over an hour.
Where, oh where, can that pizza be?
I am dying of starvation.
Haven't got the strength to fart.
I know a pizza will be my salvation
As soon as to eat I can start.

More Christmas card

TO: Let it Snow

Oh, the weather outside is frightful
'Cause the sun is so delightful
And to work I don't want to go!
Let it snow, let it snow, let it snow!

Oh, I wanna stay home and watch movies.
That would sure be groovy.
But the wind doesn't even blow,
Let it snow, let it snow, let it snow!

Well, Bob Ryan said late last night
There was 10 percent chance of a storm.
And Bob Ryan is usually right.
So why the heck is it so warm?

Well. I guess the old bastard was lying.
God, I feel like crying.
This is three days of work in a row.
Let it snow, let it snow, let it snow!


This next song comes from the time period in which we converted the dining room of our 1 bedroom apartment into a 2nd bedroom. I slept in the dining room, adjacent to the kitchen.

TO: Away in a Manger

Away in the kitchen,
No place for her bed,
The poor Debbie Taylor
Lays down her sweet head.

The garbage disposal
Upstairs grinds away.
And our ice box engine
Keeps running til day.

I love this apartment,
But I'd like to lay
Where nocturnal hampsters
Don't bang as they play,

Where coffee ain't brewing
As dawn breaks the sky.
Oh maybe, oh maybe
I'll sleep by and by.


TO: Silver Bells

Tysons Corners, Seven Corners
Full of holiday sales.
Im the mall there's a feeling of Christmas.

Forty dollars, fifty dollars
Can these price tags be real?
So I look in my purse and find...

...silver coins, silver coins,
Goodness, but it is a pity.
Clink, clink, clank.
My piggy bank
Can afford no presents today.